and now we meet quite often, those empty pants and i

Consider the following picture:

 

Now consider the following information:

1. This is the sight that greeted me when I returned home from lunch today.
2. That is the banister in the lobby of my apartment building.
3. Those are my pajama pants.
4. I have not recently done laundry in my building.
5. It’s been several days since I wore these pants.
6. I was neither wearing nor carrying these pants when I left the house this morning.

And, finally, riddle me this:

How the hell did these pants sneak out of my apartment, to be located (and, I’m guessing, soundly mocked) by a neighbor?

Seriously. I don’t know which is the more salient point here . . . The fact that my sleepwear apparently has obtained the ability to walk right the fuck out the front door without my knowledge? Or the fact that, in doing so, they provided a legit excuse to say ‘pants’ six times while titling this post after an awesome Dr. Seuss story:

the pale-green pants with nobody inside them

Either way: FML.