and now, a word on our sponsors

8 Feb

Attention friends, family, and assorted interwebs acquaintances:

Should you ever find yourself in a relationship so hopelessly lame that giddily switching your goddamn toilet paper to Cottonelle counts as “shaking things up a bit,” do us both a favor: please don’t tell me. No, really — we both know how this will go. . . I won’t be able to contain my disgust, and will likely as not be forced to roll my eyes so hard they get stuck.

And that’s only if I resist the urge to slap the outright shit out of you.

On a serious note, what’s ailing the ad makers of late? It’s like they all decided to brainstorm while licking the same pool of antifreeze. It shouldn’t surprise me that America deems the sucking of Doritos dust to be hilarious. After all, we are a nation that seems increasingly infatuated with the lowest common denominator. But Jesus, people. . . We deserve better. Even in our commercials.

So. You, and especially you:

. . .well played. You’re totally off the hook. Everyone else? Not so much.

2 Responses to “and now, a word on our sponsors”

  1. LES February 11, 2011 at 4:08 pm #

    i’m *so* glad i’m not the only was who is really taken with the Chrysler commercials. they’re beautifully shot, brilliantly executed, and the mere idea that someone was able to tie a cheesy 70s vehicle to an artist as hot as Eminem just gives me chills.

    • Ang February 16, 2011 at 7:19 pm #

      Word and word. The production value is awesome, and for anyone who calls Metro Detroit “home,” the nostalgia factor is off the charts.
      That said, I’m not yet ready to jump on the “Eminem is a hero” bandwagon, but I want to punch him in the throat far less now than I did a decade ago. ;)

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